Logik’s blog

I was EXTREMELY bored yesterday night, and I was too tired to play some CS:S. The IRC convo is the result of that.
(No Offense to Any real people included here, Pojo, and my name is not Harlan McCraney. I took that from a movie Harlan McCraney, Presidental Speechalist.)

[22:03] Logik: Because you are all here, I want to give you the IF2.0 goodie of the Day.
[22:03] aaron_s: Oh and yoda yesterday you exited AIM with there was olny 30ish minents left for the down load
[22:03] Logik: We will include Idiot Eating Monkeys in every Ban.
[22:03] Yodaminch: bah
[22:03] Yodaminch: i hate batch files
[22:03] Yodaminch: stupid server
[22:03] Yodaminch: bah
[22:03] HolySavior: howdy stephen
[22:03] Logik: Also, the TV show the View will be showing a special IF2 talk show.
[22:03] aaron_s: meh
[22:03] Logik: Because, well, we made them.
[22:04] aaron_s: but The View is a womens talk show :errmm:
[22:04] Logik: Also, Brandon is human, unlike the rumors you have heard.
[22:04] Logik: Excellent Question.
[22:05] Yodaminch: brandon is human. rory on the other hand…
[22:05] Logik: In an attempt to make a human looking idiot eating organism, we made Experments 101, 102, 109, and 100
[22:05] aaron_s: and logik was 101 LO
[22:05] aaron_s: *
[22:05] Logik: Each mutated terribly and became monstosities.
[22:05] Sam_R: is he a booze powered robot?
[22:05] Logik: They left, and made the View.
[22:05] Logik: No, in fact.
[22:06] Yodaminch: and off i go again
[22:06] Yodaminch: ignore me
[22:06] Logik: Booze only powers his brain.
[22:06] Logik: His motors come from the Root Beer he drinks.
[22:06] Logik: It isn’t working well, though.
[22:07] Logik: Also, we have happily aquirred the rights to SNL, or Saturday Night Live.
[22:07] Logik: We plan to blow them up and replace it with MadTV.
[22:07] aaron_s: blah
[22:07] aaron_s: SNL can be good
[22:07] Logik: In other news, we have today, taken over Russia and China.
[22:07] Loona: MadTV < SNL
[22:08] aaron_s: I dont realy wacth TV and when I did I did not watch thoughts too
[22:08] Logik: We plan to broadcast sublimatal messages so they'll come out of hiding.
[22:08] aaron_s: I watched a show Loona should know "This Hour has 24 minents" yes a canadian show
[22:08] Logik: We have also bombed SNL's studio, currently building a 24/7 MadTV Theater in its location.
[22:09] Loona: This Hour...I haven't seen that show in soo long
[22:09] Logik: For our Interview of the Day, we turn to our special correspondent, Harlan McCraney.
[22:09] aaron_s: same here
[22:09] Yodaminch: rawr. i like snl
[22:09] Sam_R: i like food network and nature shows
[22:09] aaron_s: Oh and the Red Green show (or what ever its called)
[22:09] Sam_R: and cartoons :yes:
[22:09] Loona: yay, nature shows
[22:09] HolySavior: snl is gonna suck this weekend
[22:10] Sam_R: at least i do on the rare occasions that i remember our living room has a tv with free cable
[22:10] Logik: Here, at Interview of the Day, we have interviewed everyone imaginable, from Steve Carell to The dog from Frasier.
[22:10] Loona: I was actually watching red green today for a little bit...first time in a while
[22:10] HolySavior: ashlee simpson is preforming i here >.<
[22:10] Loona: such weird canadian shows
[22:10] Yodaminch: yup
[22:10] Yodaminch: more hoe downs
[22:10] Logik: Today’s guest is George W. Bush. Please welcome him.
[22:10] Loona: haha
[22:10] Yodaminch: anyone see the week after she blew it
[22:10] Yodaminch: on weekend update
[22:10] Loona: no
[22:11] Logik: [Applause]
[22:11] Yodaminch: horatio sanz was elton john
[22:11] Yodaminch: hehe
[22:11] aaron_s: Oh yoda I liked that blog you did
[22:11] Logik: Hello, Mr. President.
[22:11] HolySavior: anyone see the orange bowl where she was booed off the stage
[22:11] Logik: Hello, er….
[22:11] aaron_s: no
[22:11] Logik: “HarLand”
[22:11] Yodaminch: which one. i mad two today
[22:11] aaron_s: Patience
[22:11] Logik: It’s Harlan, but that is a common misconception.
[22:12] Sam_R: …i just found a forum written in chatspeak and n00b :X
[22:12] aaron_s: :X
[22:12] * Sam_R prods it
[22:12] aaron_s: :sick:
[22:12] Logik: So, Mr. President. Many people have said that your reasons for your Tax Cuts are just a bland attempt to make people happy. Is this true?
[22:12] Loona: aren’t the majority of them like that
[22:12] Sam_R: Pix from 2day fm lowies hot30 or anything you want!
[22:13] *** Yodaminch is now known as PresidentCheney.
[22:13] Logik: Absolutely not. The people deserve tax breaks. And they deserve protection with our “New Clear” missiles.
[22:13] Sam_R: that is a forum description :ermm:
[22:13] Pojo_: That’s what she said!
[22:13] Loona: well at least they could put at least 4 words together properly “or anything you want!”
[22:13] Loona: I applaud them for that much
[22:14] Logik: Indeed. A viewer from Orlando, Flordia asks “OMGUSUCK0RZ”
[22:14] *** Kevin_O has signed off IRC (”(Link: http://xanga.com/omnimaga)http://xanga.com/omnimaga”).
[22:14] Logik: Well, my reply to that is Keep away from the airwaves and Washing”tun” DC, or I’ll declare war on ya.
[22:15] Logik: Our final question comes from “J Kerry”
[22:15] Logik: “What justification did you have on going to war?”
[22:15] aaron_s: I endorce my Geekiness Nerdiness and dorkiness
[22:15] Logik: Um…
[22:15] Logik: “I cannot answer that, for it flip card over”
[22:16] aaron_s: haha
[22:16] Logik: “involves National Security.”
[22:16] Logik: Thank you, Mr President.
[22:16] PresidentCheney: Hey
[22:16] Logik: Thank you, Mr. HarLand
[22:16] PresidentCheney: the real president wants an interview
[22:16] Logik: Thank you for your time, America.
[22:17] PresidentCheney: get back here
[22:17] Logik: Tune in next week for “Cheney N Bush” Faceoff on FOX.
[22:17] PresidentCheney: bah
[22:17] PresidentCheney: i’ll win
[22:17] Logik: But now, a special message from our sponsor.
[22:17] PresidentCheney: drod dead
[22:18] Logik: “Are you tired of painful glass cuts when changing lightbulbs in your Ez-Bake oven?”
[22:18] Logik: “YES!”
[22:18] * PresidentCheney woners if no one can see him post
[22:18] PresidentCheney: *wondrs
[22:18] aaron_s: No we cant Yoda
[22:18] PresidentCheney: *wonders
[22:18] Logik: “There is a new way to cook now, its called the Kid Friendly EcoKill Oveninator!”
[22:18] PresidentCheney: rawr?
[22:18] Logik: “Developed by the Governator himself.”
[22:18] * PresidentCheney shoots Logik
[22:18] PresidentCheney: take him away boys
[22:18] aaron_s: haha
[22:19] * PresidentCheney watch the secret service haul out Logik’s carcass
[22:19] Logik: “It is as simple as 1, 2 3!
[22:19] PresidentCheney: that’ll teach you not to interview me
[22:19] Logik: “First, change the gas line and link it to the oven”
[22:19] Logik: “Then turn it on!”
[22:19] Logik: “Mister, I can’t light it”
[22:20] Logik: “Well, that is why we have the new Hey! Its Matches for Kids”
[22:20] Logik: “Watch!”
[22:20] Logik: *flick*
[22:20] Logik: *BOOM*
[22:20] Logik: “HEEEEY ITS OVENS FOR KIDS”
[22:20] Logik: Welcome back to IFNN.
[22:21] Logik: Today’s Interview on the Connie Chung show…
[22:21] aaron_s: 1 min
[22:21] Logik: “Hey! Why am I here again?”
[22:21] Logik: “Because we are paying you 20 bucks”
[22:21] Logik: “Right”
[22:21] PresidentCheney: there goes my pacemaker
[22:21] * PresidentCheney dies
[22:22] Pojo_: President Cheney is dead
[22:22] Logik: Today’s Interviewee, Vice Presdient Cheney!
[22:22] Pojo_: commence aplause
[22:22] PresidentCheney: CLEAR!
[22:22] * PresidentCheney is alive
[22:22] PresidentCheney: again
[22:22] * Pojo_ cries
[22:22] PresidentCheney: eh hem
[22:22] Pojo_: bad man!
[22:22] PresidentCheney: Vice President? Get it right
[22:22] Pojo_: BAAAAAD
[22:22] Pojo_: your name says president
[22:22] PresidentCheney: We all know whose Running the country
[22:22] Pojo_: so that is what i shall refer to you as
[22:22] PresidentCheney: ME!
[22:22] *** HolySavior has signed off IRC (”Chatzilla 0.9.68.5 [Firefox 1.0.7/20050915]”).
[22:22] PresidentCheney: not the monkey in the oval office
[22:22] Pojo_: duh, jojo the dancing monkey
[22:22] Logik: “Sorry sir”
[22:23] Pojo_: with the cigar
[22:23] PresidentCheney: right. you’re forgiven
[22:23] * PresidentCheney signals secret service to lower the snipers
[22:23] Logik: Today’s Interviewee, President Cheney!
[22:23] Logik: [Applause]
[22:23] *** HolySavior has joined #invisionfree.
[22:23] * Pojo_ taunts the snipers obnoxiously
[22:23] * PresidentCheney signals the snipers to fire and kill pojo
[22:24] * Pojo_ signals for the mad underground wizards under his control to kill Cheney
[22:24] *** PresidentCheney is now known as Yodaminch.
[22:24] Logik: Oh my god, they shot Connie Chung!
[22:24] Logik: Yes!
[22:24] Logik: *stuff*
[22:24] Loona: what a sellout
[22:24] Logik: Hello, I’m Harlan McCraney, today interviewing…. um… Yodaminch
[22:24] *** Mode change “+o Yodaminch” for channel #invisionfree by ChanServ.
[22:25] *** Yodaminch is now known as PresidentCheney.
[22:25] Logik: Sorry, correction.
[22:25] PresidentCheney: Sorry about that
[22:25] PresidentCheney: now then
[22:25] Logik: President Cheney.
[22:25] *** Pojo_ has been kicked from #invisionfree by PresidentCheney: Sayonara Sucker
[22:25] PresidentCheney: yes?
[22:25] Sam_R: yay
[22:25] PresidentCheney: yes applause for me
[22:25] PresidentCheney: I’m the best
[22:25] Logik: Viewer G. W. Bush from Texas asks “Where did you put my control Dick?”
[22:25] * Sam_R offers cookie
[22:25] PresidentCheney: Can I get a whoop! whoop!
[22:26] PresidentCheney: I gave it to Conde
[22:26] Sam_R: no…cookie
[22:26] PresidentCheney: hehehe
[22:26] Logik: Ah, Intresting.
[22:26] PresidentCheney: I wonder if I remembered to feed him
[22:26] PresidentCheney: Oh well
[22:26] Logik: Mr. President, people say you are the mastermind behind the Iraq War, is this true?
[22:26] PresidentCheney: Yes
[22:26] PresidentCheney: Darn straight
[22:26] PresidentCheney: I want nukes and oil
[22:27] PresidentCheney: so I can have World Domination
[22:27] PresidentCheney: hmm
[22:27] PresidentCheney: Ok who pumped me with truth serum
[22:27] PresidentCheney: they are so dead
[22:27] PresidentCheney: That was confidential
[22:27] PresidentCheney: Remind me to shoot you when we are done
[22:27] Logik: A question from “Pojo” “Hahahahahaha sucker”
[22:27] PresidentCheney: Now what was I saying
[22:27] Logik: Wait, that isn’t a question.
[22:27] HolySavior: Question!
[22:27] Logik: *bill, you idiot, that wasn’t a question!”
[22:27] * PresidentCheney orders the secret service to arrest and torture Pojo
[22:28] * HolySavior raises hand!
[22:28] Logik: Anyways, Mr President.
[22:28] HolySavior: me pick me!
[22:28] Logik: Yes, Mr Savior?
[22:28] PresidentCheney: Savior?
[22:28] PresidentCheney: Oh god no. Christ is back
[22:28] HolySavior: who will win the superbowl?
[22:28] PresidentCheney: The holy water. It burns
[22:28] Logik: He’s the stage manager.
[22:28] PresidentCheney: Oh well whoever I choose
[22:28] PresidentCheney: I’m liking the Giants
[22:28] PresidentCheney: just because I can
[22:28] PresidentCheney: Though I think the Pats will win again
[22:29] PresidentCheney: next question
[22:29] HolySavior: so i should bet on the pats?
[22:29] Logik: Back to the questions, Mr President…
[22:29] PresidentCheney: Yes
[22:29] PresidentCheney: life savings
[22:29] PresidentCheney: all on the pats
[22:29] *** Pojo_ has joined #invisionfree.
[22:29] Pojo_: The VP booted me
[22:29] Logik: Many people think that you will do a worse job at running the country than George W Bush. Is this true?
[22:29] Pojo_: how rude
[22:29] *** Pojo_ has been kicked from #invisionfree by PresidentCheney: Sayonara Sucker
[22:29] PresidentCheney: President
[22:29] PresidentCheney: Not Vice President
[22:29] PresidentCheney: idiot
[22:30] Logik: Mr President, please answer the question.
[22:30] PresidentCheney: Well how can I do a worse job. I’ve run the country for 8 years already. And with this new pacemaker I’ll be around for another 200
[22:30] PresidentCheney: so yeah. TS to all who think I do a bad job
[22:30] PresidentCheney: they can burn in hell
[22:30] *** Pojo_ has joined #invisionfree.
[22:30] PresidentCheney: Like I eventually will
[22:30] Pojo_: Yoda no like me
[22:30] Pojo_: so sad, i are
[22:30] Pojo_:
[22:30] PresidentCheney: [22:31] *** Pojo_ has been kicked from #invisionfree by PresidentCheney: Sayonara Sucker
[22:30] PresidentCheney: [22:31] PresidentCheney: President
[22:30] PresidentCheney: [22:31] PresidentCheney: Not Vice President
[22:31] PresidentCheney: get it right next time
[22:31] Logik: According to the company who made the pacemaker, it only lasts 20 years until it burns up.
[22:31] PresidentCheney: Next Question!
[22:31] PresidentCheney: Well
[22:31] Pojo_: VICE
[22:31] PresidentCheney: I have
[22:31] Pojo_: PRESIDENT
[22:31] Pojo_: VICE
[22:31] PresidentCheney: a special pacemaker
[22:31] Pojo_: VPRESIDENT
[22:31] Pojo_: VP
[22:31] Pojo_: YOU
[22:31] PresidentCheney: that thing that kept Darth Vader alive
[22:31] Pojo_: ARE
[22:31] Pojo_: A
[22:31] Pojo_: VP
[22:31] Pojo_: VICE
[22:31] Pojo_: PRESIDENT
[22:31] PresidentCheney: plus cloning is farther along than you think
[22:31] *** Pojo_ has been kicked from #invisionfree by PresidentCheney: Sayonara Sucker
[22:31] PresidentCheney: I’m bored of him
[22:31] Logik: Gawd, someone shoot that guy in the audience.
[22:31] Logik: Thank you.
[22:31] PresidentCheney: shoot him if he comes back
[22:32] Logik: Okay.
[22:32] Logik: *bill, get the shotgun*
[22:32] Logik: Anyways…
[22:32] PresidentCheney: makes great cofee
[22:32] PresidentCheney: the pacemaker
[22:32] PresidentCheney: and its glow in the dark. i got my own nightlight
[22:32] PresidentCheney: keeps bush happy
[22:32] PresidentCheney: he’ s afraid of the dark
[22:32] Logik: George Lucas already said that he will not make anymore Star Wars movies. If you could make one, would you?
[22:32] PresidentCheney: soon i won’t even need sleep
[22:33] PresidentCheney: Yes. It would star me. I’d chuck the emperor and bush down a shaft and rule with an iron fist. I’d blow up Aldaraan, Yavin, Endor, Hoth and torture all the “heroes”
[22:33] PresidentCheney: It would be produced by Donald Trump
[22:33] PresidentCheney: so with his name on it
[22:33] PresidentCheney: it will be a big box office hit
[22:33] PresidentCheney: I’ll be even richer
[22:33] PresidentCheney: and all will see it
[22:34] PresidentCheney: and be brainwashed into worshipping me
[22:34] PresidentCheney: ALL HAIL CHENEY ALL HAIL CHENEY
[22:34] PresidentCheney: next question
[22:34] PresidentCheney: perhaps from an audience member?
[22:35] Logik: Mr. President, many people poke the US Army as outdated and not new. Recently, Congress passed a bill allowing 1 million for new unifroms and guns. What type would you spend it on?
[22:35] aaron_s: Nukes and Lazers
[22:35] PresidentCheney: Massive Bloodthirsty Robots that only answer to me
[22:35] Logik: What about the 5 million humans currently serving in the Army?
[22:35] PresidentCheney: As well as a suit of hi tech armor for me to go Iraq conquering in
[22:36] PresidentCheney: And of course nukes and sasers
[22:36] PresidentCheney: Screw em
[22:36] PresidentCheney: I can take Iraq by myself
[22:36] PresidentCheney: They had 2 years
[22:36] PresidentCheney: They failed
[22:36] PresidentCheney: now its my turn
[22:36] PresidentCheney: brb Need to kill someone
[22:36] Logik: A quick break, everyone.
[22:37] * Loona cut to commercials
[22:37] aaron_s: heh
[22:37] Logik: *Bill, that was NOT a question*
[22:37] Logik: *sorry, slipped out*
[22:37] Logik: *Do it again and I will-”
[22:37] Logik: *Bang*
[22:37] Logik: *stuff ri[ rip*
[22:38] PresidentCheney: back
[22:38] Logik: Yes, Mr President. I’m your new interviewer, Bill McBone.
[22:38] Logik: Harlan is, um.. taking a break.
[22:38] Logik: Anyways, President.
[22:38] PresidentCheney: i killed harlan
[22:38] PresidentCheney: he was too slow
[22:39] Logik: Recently, Congress allowed the president to change his title. What will yours be?
[22:39] PresidentCheney: Supreme Overlord Cheney
[22:39] PresidentCheney: you can call me SO for short
[22:40] Logik: Mr President, what do you think about Seth’s recent job as District Attorney?
[22:40] PresidentCheney: He’s terrible
[22:40] PresidentCheney: I’m appointing him to the Supreme Court
[22:40] Logik: Many say he will become president during your term.
[22:40] PresidentCheney: Like hell he will
[22:41] Logik: Recently, a bill was passed for in war, the government can be reorganized.
[22:41] PresidentCheney: point?
[22:41] Logik: How would you reorganize the current one?
[22:41] PresidentCheney: All power to me
[22:41] PresidentCheney: All nukes launched
[22:41] PresidentCheney: all army people sent packing
[22:42] PresidentCheney: Oh and no more attorney general
[22:42] PresidentCheney: or agriculture
[22:42] Logik: Thank you, Mr President.
[22:42] Logik: We go now to our continuing interview of SO Cheney, with your new host, Loona.
[22:43] PresidentCheney: eh hem
[22:43] Logik: Thank you.
[22:43] PresidentCheney: ok
[22:43] * Logik runs