Logik’s blog

I got this idea from Stephen’s post about idiots online and offine, but I’ll just rant about online, and a slight sprinkle of offline.
Okay, so SVs are growing really fast, and double answers are at a all time high. It seems the support forum is becoming a race track for someone who is thinking “This guy answered a question, but there are 4 other guys that are going to post. I bet I could be faster!” and the result are topics like these.
Of course, the FAQ and all the manuals are there, ready for reading, but noooo, they don’t care. They ether can’t read or just are lazy bums. Causes?

1. Underage posters posting topics like ‘OMG I LOST0rZ MY FORUMZ OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG LOL’
Remedy: Make the COPPA thing harder to get past, instead of a simple question “Where you born before this date?”. Underage kids are smarter than that, you know. Trust me, my sister has gotten past the Neopets Coppa thing plenty of times.
2. Support Volunteers. I’d like to think they run of 3 basic princpals: Rush, Double Answer, and Bad Support. I think that speaks for itself.
Remedy: Kill them all. No mercy. Post a topic on Announcments dennoucing them or something, just get rid of them! Please!!
3. Post Count. Post count is like gold in a forum. The higher the post count, the higher you think your popularity is. Well, its not. You can post 2 times and be the most popular person in the world, and post a thousand times and still be hated. (90% of the posts in the Support forum are just for the post count. Not so they can feel good about helping your fellow man, just for stupid, idiotic post count.
Remedy: Kill post count.

Last Resorts (Everything from a mere reform to declaring martial law)
1: Minor
10: Extreme
1. Denounce Support Volunteers.
2. Turn the Banned group into the Support Volunteer group.
3. Set up member ’spies’ with direct links to the Staff inside the support forum, reporting spam when it occurs.
4. Openly suggest using the Support tickets as a alternative to the support forum.
5. Kill all support volunteers. (and related cults of idiots)
6. Take away post count in the support forum.
7. Take away post count all together.
8. Create a group of specialized staff to be in the support forum 24/7 to answer most of the support topics.
9. Create a specialized group of staff to be in support 24/7 to answer all the support topics. Massive, red, bolded letters at the top will read “IF YOU DO NOT NEED HELP, AND JUST WANT TO ANSWER TOPICS, DO NOT POST OR BE BANNED.”
10. Declare martial law, and bring the entire forum into a facist- type of adminship.
Of course, those are last resorts.
Now offline life. (Yes, I do have one )
My head still hurts pretty bad after my friend John accidently beaned me with a metal pipe he was trying to throw back into the box that it came from. Not his fault, I didn’t look and walked into its path. The pain!!!

Edit:
New List:
Last Resorts
1: Minor
11: Extreme
1. Denounce Support Volunteers.
2. Turn the Banned group into the Support Volunteer group.
3. Set up member ’spies’ with direct links to the Staff inside the support forum, reporting spam when it occurs.
4. Openly suggest using the Support tickets as a alternative to the support forum.
5. Kill all support volunteers. (and related cults of idiots)
6. Take away post count in the support forum.
7. Take away post count all together.
8. Create a group of specialized staff to be in the support forum 24/7 to answer most of the support topics.
9. Create a specialized group of staff to be in support 24/7 to answer all the support topics. Massive, red, bolded letters at the top will read “IF YOU DO NOT NEED HELP, AND JUST WANT TO ANSWER TOPICS, DO NOT POST OR BE BANNED.”
10. Declare martial law, and bring the entire forum into a facist- type of adminship.
Of course, those are last resorts.
11. Make IF paid. Idiots will run away in a heartbeat.